Monday, December 6, 2021

Burned out on politics, tired of "caring"

 So, we're getting to that time again, where I just get turned off from politics and feel the need to isolate myself more and not focus as much on it. I went into a slump like this post 2016, and I'm feeling a need to do it again. Back then, it was because Trump won, I lost all faith in both parties, and the politics of the day was painfully boring and I just wasn't willing to engage with the topics. That's kind of a side effect of my autism. I can care passionately about issues I hold dear, to the point of obsession, but literally everything else...no. I just can't. 

And I feel like, outside of advocacy for some forward party stuff, I'm getting to that point again. Politics is exhausting these days. I feel like it's just a perpetual outrage cycle where people get hyped up and polarized over the latest issues of the days, and then they just castigate anyone who doesn't share the same exact values or concerns. And given the general mismatch between my politics and the rest of the left these days, I just am getting to the point that I just can't any more. I'm finding engaging in politics increasingly exhausting over the past few months, and I'm just to the point I'm out of craps to give. 

The fact is, almost no one represents me. The democratic party is divided into four factions, and I'm part of that alienated, disenchanted outsider faction. I've gone over my issues with the moderate neolibs to death. How they seem to love the status quo and are the true conservatives in this country (with the right being reactionaries), and how they don't want to solve any issue in a meaningful way, only to act surprised when their approval ratings tank when they struggle to pass a compromise of a compromise of a compromise of a bill that was another compromise and was never good in the first place. 

Then you have the progressives, who are on the opposite end of this cycle. I rolled with these guys from 2016-2020, but as I've been pointing out, I become increasingly out of sync with them. Quite frankly, our priorities are diverging, and they're becoming more obsessed with ideological purity around "socialism" and seem to scream and castigate people over the silliest reasons like not supporting an immediate end to all 'regime change wars", supporting israel on twitter, and other things. Even stuff I largely agree with like unions, just the amount of vitriol and outrage I've seen toward people who just dont care enough is outrageous. I literally got into an argument with a vote blue no matter whoer tonight who basically weaponized labor concerns against me decision to vote third party, going on about how because of me, the court skews right and now unions cant force people to pay dues, and I'm just do the point I DONT. CARE. like, labor unions are well and good, but they're not my ideal approach to getting gains from an anti work perspective. Union supporters are still jobists, and they largely believe in "the dignity of work" and blah blah blah. Meanwhile, I'm more like "let's abolish work and give people money" and that just doesn't have a role in the modern left. 

Speaking of which, the amount of hatred I see toward yang for daring support a UBI that *gasp* removes parts of the fundamentally flawed welfare state, is outrageous, and I'm sick and tired of being told I'm a right winger every time I mention I support yang or UBI because he's a neoliberal libertarian shill or something. 

Like, a big condition of my support on the left was that they would shift the overton window where UBI BECAME something that is able to be openly discussed and supported. And it kind of is, because of yang. But now this same left is turning against it and tribalistically defending a flawed welfare state I really dont believe in and only really accept as an alternative to literally nothing like the right supports, and yeah. I'm just getting turned off.

This isn't even getting into the idpol obsessed people. Who seem in their own little world and scream at anyone who doesn't care about THAT stuff enough. While lecturing people about how choosey POC are in supporting candidates and how they gotta make everything about them.

If the left had their crap together and built, you know, a cross faction coalition, bringing progressives, outsiders, and even POC together, appealing to all of their concerns to some extent, while making compromises on more minor issues if necessary, that would be fine, but instead they gotta scream everything isnt literally perfect, and therefore everything is bad. Honestly, there's only a handful of issues that for me are non negotiable. UBI, universal healthcare, and free college/student debt forgiveness. Even on the last 2 I can compromise on in terms of the overall policies and degrees to which stuff is supported, if, in exchange, it means my UBI gets supported in an uncompromised form (because I've done the math and understand balancing all of these things is hard financially). As long as you support some version of them.

But, instead, the modern left seems to be about being forced to care and circlejerk about issues that you don't really care much about, and being bullied and shamed if you don't. 

I'm just tired, man. Like, it's getting to the point I have zero energy to discuss politics. If I try, I just get frustrated too much. And it's taking a clear toll on my mental health.

I can't, in good faith, continue to advocate for even issues I care about dearly, in this kind of mental state. Because I'm not debating at my best in the first place, as I have no energy to, and even worse, I'm not really representing my views well. I understand this is purely a me problem. i know the counter arguments exist. But I'm out of energy. I have full on dillahunty syndrome. And I just get angry and lash out instead. 

I'm sick of politics, man. I still might post here if I have something more to say worth saying, but other than that, I just cant any more.

No comments:

Post a Comment