Tuesday, May 11, 2021

You can't force someone to care

 So, I got in more spats with SJWs in debates, and this led to more shaming for me not caring about their issues. But in self reflection, I kind of got to the heart of why I don't care and why their behavior bothers me so much. It might just be me...but, hey, I can't help being me.

I wrote a couple posts a few months ago about how my autism affects my political views and how I see the world. Now, autism is a condition where I tend to have obsessive interests with stuff, at the expense of everything else. Autistic people will go on and on and on nonstop about certain topics, but outside of those topics, they aren't the best conversation makers. Because they're out of their depth, and quite frankly don't care. 

Being autistic is....exhausting. Someone I've talked to once described it like this. Imagine only having so many craps to give. If you give away all of your craps, you have no mental stamina left, and this leads to melt downs, shut downs, etc. Our mental stamina is limited and must be administered scarcely. Now, another caveat in my own experience, if something is a special interest, it's kind of a "freebie". Autistic people can obsess for hours over certain topics with next to no slowdown. But outside of those narrow focuses, energy to do and care about anything comes out of our very limited supply of craps to give.

SJWs DEMAND we give up some of our craps to give, for their pet causes. it's not enough to just passively be like "yeah, I think BLM is a good thing", or "yeah, trans people should have rights." Unless youre out there doing all the socially performative emotional labor they require you to do to show how much you care, they end of having issues with you. And for someone like me, who has to expend extra "craps to give" to do that, I choose not to. Either way I find the whole thing as stupid and manipulative because that's another thing we autistic people do. We don't understand social conventions if they're not easily grasped with logic and make sense to us, and sometimes we might even be willing to intentionally break the rules in opposition to them to prove a point. And that's kind of how I am. I just find the whole thing so superficial and cliquey, and even worse, flat out emotionally manipulative given how the craplibs in the democratic party use that stuff to shame people into giving up progressive agendas and vote for people like HRC or Biden. So I don't do it and I refuse to do it. 

To a large extent, I can't really control my core inclinations. I can fight against my nature for short periods of time, but that just burns through all my extra social stamina (aka craps to give) and just makes me burn out. And then I really don't care. Remember what happened after the election when I stopped largely posting for a few years? That's what happens when I hit my limit. I can't force myself to do emotional labor on crap I don't care about. I just can't. And I can't even control not caring. It's just a matter of my limited social energy.

So what DOES energize me? Well, look at what I talk about other than this specific topic. Mostly UBI, medicare for all, and my anti work stuff. That's...what I care about, that's what energizes me. 

You know, being spiritual now, I kinda dabble in tarot. I imagine any atheist I know would balk at me for this. But sometimes I get messages that resonate. One reading I watched seemed to come out of the blue, and it mentioned that whatever my talent is, I shouldn't stray from it because if I do, I'm going to burn out and lose interest, and I'll lose said talent. It's one of those things that may be "from God" (don't interpret anything I say as "god's will, PLEASE don't, I'm speaking of my own accord), and if I don't use it in a way that stays true to myself, I will lose that talent. 

And, after reflecting on that, it kind of resonates. I have a vision of an post work future. A better world, with people working less and living better. I want to use this talent to outline this, why it's a good thing, and how to get there. I believe we need a whole new way of looking at things for the 21st century, and the thing that really gets me hyped up and interested is talking about this. That means discussing UBI. That means discussing healthcare. Education. It means discussing how my ideology differs from other mainstream ideologies. This stuff is important. It's groundbreaking stuff, and it's a talent I seem to have acquired over my life time as a result of my accumulated experiences and education.If I stray from my path and get bogged down in all this BS that I don't really feel like I can put sincere effort into, I'm going to lose interest and get burned out. It's just how I am. And it's why I act the way I do. Again, after the election, I tuned out for a few years and focused on other things. I was just so disaffected by it all I didn't care any more for a while.

SJWs are ableist. They expect everyone to care and put on airs and virtue signal their stuff like it's a religion. I'm not even against a lot of their ideas. But the second they try to force them on me and even worse pit my core vision against theirs, I'm taking my ball and going home. I just don't have the extra mental bandwidth and stamina to deal with their bullcrap. Sorry, not sorry.

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