So, some are gonna blast me for this, but Asmongold had a video about how young women have grown to hate men, and have dating standards incongruent to the actual dating market. I guess this is the opposite side of the coin from my "are gen Z men okay?" type posts I've made since the 2024 election.
As we know, men have been driven right, and women left. A lot of this polarization has completely destroyed dating mechanics among gen Z. There's a lot of tribalism on both sides, and normally I put young men supporting MAGA on blast, but after watching this, I believe women deserve criticism too.
A lot of women seem to HATE men. Like, the stereotype of "man hating" women seems true, at least based on some of the data presented. I can get SOME of that. I mean, if you're dealing with conservative men who want a tradwife where you're supposed to be barefoot and pregnant all of the time, they have super regressive views, yeah, exclude those frickers from your dating pool. I get it. But, it seems like a lot of women DO have their own "incel" problem, as Asmongold pointed out, or a "femcel" problem where they just seem to hate on men all day and can never find the right man because their dating standards are ridiculously high. And...again, pot calling the kettle black given I have unrealistic standards myself, but I'm more than willing to admit my own faults on that subject and I have standards virtually no women seem to meet. But here, it does seem like women do have ridiculous standards.
Like, on politics, I can understand needing some level of worldview and lifestyle compatibility. You dont want someone who sees you as breeding cattle, I get it. But then most women would refuse to date someone for a differing view on like, gaza or some crap? That's mental. And the fact that this kind of exclusivity is driven primarily by women is a bit insane to me. Because again, some political differences cant be reconciled, I get that. But I feel like modern radical feminism, ie, what the right calls "gender ideology", what I call 'wokeism", is just toxic. It really is. It encourages an insane level of tribalism where ANY deviation from expectations just puts you on these peoples' craplist. Me, purity tests can be justified, but pick your battles. Really. I mean, this isnt all that different than the leftists hating on AOC over israel. Like...let's be blunt, why TF should MOST americans care about what other peoples' opinions on israel are? It's just bonkers to me. and it's all sides. Like I had a long time friend from college unfriend me recently because she's a die hard zionist and I've been more critical of israel lately on social media. It's insane to just push people out of your life who you've known for years over this issue. Like totally mental. But....for these guys, most women, it's the opposite, you bet they're for palestine and if you have ANY pro israel views you're gone. And if you're nuanced like me, well, you're especially screwed because both sides end up dogpiling on you for not toeing their line exactly. And here's the thing. Does this crap even matter? Again, something as basic and central as whether your partner thinks you deserve rights, I can understand how there's a basic disconnect there. But this is just stupid.
An issue that is arguably more within the purview of lifestyle, but that I feel passionate about to talk about on this, is also that of the "stay at home boyfriend" thing. Like, a lot of women JUST dont like that idea. I mean, I can get you dont wanna support someone else, okay. You do you. BUT...I'm gonna be honest. This whole femcel thing of "there's never any good men left"? Yeah...about that. Look. Here's my honest views on this issue, as a "NEET", and as someone who in a relationship would ideally wanna be a "stay at home boyfriend" of some sorts.
As far as feminism goes, I'm fine with women having rights. I'm fine with women working. I'm fine with people doing what they want. Honestly, I don't get the work thing because I feel like capitalism is a soft form of slavery, honestly. But, I can understand, coming from a position of being reliant on men who would often be abusive and not see women as equals, why women would view work as more...liberating.
However, I also think, in the 21st century, we need to have an honest talk about work and it being basically a form of slavery we don't call slavery. And...I think in terms of dating, we should talk about the whole stay at home boyfriend thing. The economy is not what it used to be for men. And millions of men have been displaced from it, mostly through no fault of their own. It's tough out there. We dont have the opportunities, what we have to settle for in the form of low wage service jobs sucks. And I know a lot of it has to do with education, women are becoming more educated than men, but for men....it sucks too. I went to college and came out of it unable to do much with my degree. And it was demoralizing. And that's how I became a NEET. I'm a victim of the 2008 financial crisis and the fact that no one was hiring for YEARS after that. I'm also a victim of deindustrialization and the fact that the job market in a lot of areas just sucks these days. Now, you can argue some aspects were my fault. I chose a poor major, and post deconversion from christianity, I lost what one would call a good "work ethic" (because that work ethic was tied to the christian worldview I've come to reject). But that's also why I'm able to criticize the system as it is. Rather than be all wrapped up in this christian work ethic, I have a nice solid dose of "reality" thee and see things for what they really are. I left "the cave", and quite frankly, I kinda have different views on the subject. To me, work isn't liberating. It's literally slavery that we dont call slavery. And I seek liberation from this system.
In a lot of ways, to go back to feminism, I think the tradeoff is weird here. The social contract changed for women. Which, dont get me wrong, as a progressive liberal type, is positive. More options is nice. But it never changed for men. And the world HAS changed for men a lot in the past half century or more. We're still expected to be breadwinners, to have it together, to be everything to women, but then women so changed their side of the contract is makes it impossible for us to date properly. I've discussed previously we often cant approach women in a healthy way. Dating sites are a fricking joke. Apparently women get their pick from dozens, if not hundreds of women, men get no bites back unless they're super tall and super handsome, and have the right job, blah blah blah. We're expected to be breadwinners in an era where jobs are hard to come by and millions are pushed out of the job market. No one wants to date us because we're "losers" if we don't work. And the women on the news segment that asmongold covered were like "ick" at the thought of dating a guy without a job. And it's just...awful. It's fricking awful for men.
And I'm not gonna say the answer is to become MRAs or incels, it's not. That's just more toxic gender ideology, just from a masculine, conservative point of view. I dont want to bring back traditionalism, or machismo, or stoicism, or this whole jordan peterson/andrew tate "hit the gym" mentality. That stuff is toxic, and I reject it outright. I also reject a lot of asmongold's conservative takes in HIS video.
But...I'm going to be blunt. We need a new social contract. It's fine for things to change for women, but men need their own changes to their own expectations too. And I'd like to see things like, say, a UBI and less emphasis on work being this end all be all of everything. Dual income households from work is not an improvement in my view. Needing both partners to work to keep a household afloat is NOT liberation. It's just another form of enslavement. Men needing to be breadwinners keeps us in this matrix of work centric social standards that we should wish to free ourselves from. All of the stuff I talk about. UBI, medicare for all, this stuff should LIBERATE us. Liberate ALL of us from all forms of coercion arrangements. UBI frees women from bad relationships with men. it does. Finances are often what keeps abused women in bad relationships. A UBI would allow women to walk away more easily. And UBI would free men from the coercive aspect of jobs and work. And it would ideally free them from the social expectations that women expect from men, or at least reduce those expectations somewhat.
Basically, all of this stuff would free us from crappy social obligations that don't make sense. Make no mistake, women's liberation is a good thing. I'm not a traditionalist. But...once hypocrisy I notice among feminists is they're all for progress for themselves, while holding men to traditionalist standards. And I think that's at the root of the problems discussed here. Women don't want to be tradwives, but they want tradhusbands. And, quite frankly, we need to just be anti tradition. That's the ultimate destiny of the left IMO. Women had their own liberation from "the patriarchy", but men need liberation from the economic coercion to work in my view. Again, a UBI would help this. It would make the idea of dating someone without a job a bit more normalized. Because both parties would have an income stream, job or not, and both could contribute somewhat. I can kinda understand why women wouldnt want someone to be dead weight, but again, UBI would solve that. Otherwise, it's just, "well you gotta sell yourself into slavery to have a relationship" and that just ain't attractive to me. I'm sorry, it's not. Ya know?
Just my view. And in the modern age...again, women are free to have the standards they want, as someone with unreasonably high standards myself, I have no room to judge, BUT....at some point, women are gonna have to take what they can get and if that involves someone not in the workforce, or someone who isn't 6 feet, or is balding at the ripe old age of 27, or has a beer gut, well, maybe you should consider it? Otherwise, it looks like gen Z is just gonna be a hyper polarized mess of no one dating anyone, the next generation not being made, and our population pyramid becoming a space needle.
Oh, and this has been on my mind, but if that happens, we might end up backlashing into traditionalist barbarism sooner or later as people blame "womens' liberation" for that happening and pushing the return to "the good old days", since people seem more inclined to wanna return to some idealized version of the past than actually move toward a future that actually works. Just saying. It's a pattern I've observed. How many human centered capitalists are there and how many people instead become alt right MAGA hacks? Yeah. Just basic math. My own take? Fix the underlying social issues and change our social standards. But a lot of people would rather revert to the past than to take that road that's less traveled. Just something I fear for the future, ladies. From your friendly progressive male who isn't an obnoxious hyper feminist but obviously hates MAGA and traditionalism too.
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