I'm gonna be honest, I'm a huge fan of this Iran war. The men long for the front lines. it's why we play video games. As you guys know, I'm a huge battlefield fan. And my favorite map in Battlefield 3 was Kharg Island. Idk why. it's huge, it's empty, it has breathing room. It's when battlefield was truly great. Battlefield 6 is slop. The maps are too small, there's too little breathing room, we're fighting in New York for some reason. Maybe Zohran Mamdani will turn NYC into a literal hellhole where we have an outright battle there, but right now, the focus is on Battlefield 3. Donald Trump is making my dream come true. I can actually enlist in my late 30s to fight in Kharg Island. And after that, we're gonna do Damavand Peak, Caspian Border, and ultimately, Tehran highway. WE'RE MAKING BATTLEFIELD GREAT AGAIN BOYS! SIGN THE F UP!
And maybe, if we're lucky, Trump will make Battlefield 4 great again too. Maybe China will try to take Taiwan, thinking that we're weak. But we're not weak. We're AMERICA, we have the best military in the world! And who wouldn't wanna kick their commie butts in the battle for the Paracel Islands as well? Maybe we can have a real world Siege of Shanghai next? Mmm....taste that asbestos from the building on C collapsing. I get to play battlefield 3 and 4 in real life, and then die of cancer! Yay!
Donald Trump is making America great again. Who needs healthcare spending when you can die in a foreign war before you get sick? And if you do get sick, you get sick from the asbestos and petro chemicals! Yay gulf war and 9/11 syndromes! This is making me wanna vote for Trump in 2028. Screw the constitution! All Hail King Trump!
....and April fools, motherfrickers....
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