So, I've done some soul searching lately, and I've come to realize that this RFK guy? He be spitting. He is, by far, the BEST candidate for president that this country has had since 1960 with his uncle ran and became president. You may wonder, why would I throw it all on this guy of all guys? Well, I plan on offering a full on explanation for my decision in this article.
1) America needs change
In 2008, Barack Obama ran on hope and change. It was an very inspiring message that pushed millions to the polls. But Barack Obama was just Clinton 2.0 and governed like him. And Joe Biden is no better. Because I have policy goals that I want to implement that the democrats aren't going to even try to implement, I think RFK is the guy. Now, he himself hasn't come out in favor of many of these goals either, but isn't he dreamy? I mean, he's a Kennedy after all...
2) He reminds me of happy times
Everyone loves kennedy. Except the establishment and the deep state, we know that. He was easily the best president of the 20th century. Why? Not because he did anything, but because he gave me happy vibes. The country was so happy when JFK was president, well, at least until the CIA/mob/Fidel Castro/Deep State killed him. Because despite forensics backing the official story, we just don't know with that guy.
And have you listened to him talk? He's so dreamy. I admit I, myself, haven't listened to the guy talk. But he has those Kennedy genes, so I bet he can give an inspiring speech about going to the moon. As long as he doesn't sound like a fallout ghoul about to call me a "smoothskin"...
3) He's anti establishment
As we know, it's not policy that matters in elections, but whether you're for or against the establishment. And he's against the establishment. His uncle died taking on the deep state and we need someone with similar credentials to do so again. After all, how else will we get out of Ukraine and stop funding Israel's genocide? Eh, let's just let Putin overrun Europe, see if I care, not like there isn't an ocean separating us from that...I care about stopping the military industrial complex at all costs.
4) He was an environmental lawyer
I mean, sure, Bernie had the green new deal, and Biden had build back better and the inflation reduction act, but we all know Biden is a milquetoast loser who don't actually care about this stuff. RFK CARES. Sure, he has put forward no decent policy on the matter, but again, vibes are everything and he puts off good vibes.
5) He will Make America Great Again
His uncle was president when America was great, and he talked about how bad COVID lockdowns were, so clearly he gets it. We need to get back to our roots and go back to how things were, without having a clue of what made that era great. Oh well, at least he ain't trump.
6) He is anti vax
Big pharma likes to just pump us full of drugs to keep us sick. We need to rely more on homeopathy, faith healing, maybe bring back some good old blood letting. All I know is I ain't putting that POISON in my body. I mean, I'm autistic, and took vaccines as a kid, so there's clearly some correlation there...
Conclusion
So, there you have it. RFK Jr. for president. I'm fully on board with this. He is THE GUY to...uh...do the thing. What is the thing? Take on the establishment. To accomplish what? Uh...things. Because that's all that matters. That and making me feel good. 1960s = good. 2020s = bad. Do I need more reasoning than that? I mean, come on...
Disclaimer: This is an april fools joke. I do not actually support RFK Jr. for president or endorse any of the bullcrap I said above. If you want to see who I actually endorse for president, you can read this article here.
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